Spiritual Fathers
In my opinion, one of our greatest problems today is that people are going into ministry or leadership of some kind without ever having been mentored or fathered themselves. I believe that the role of fathers today has been degraded in the public eye to the point that we have almost lost the vision for the critical role fathers play. Appropriate affectionate touch and affirmation, from a good father who is a spiritual father, spiritual fathers are probably the largest factors in building strong personal spirits into our lives. Without the affirmation of our fathers, we will wander looking for our identity in many other places and perform for acceptance. Here are some thoughts about good spiritual fathers.
Spiritual Fathers
It is on our father’s knee that we learn that we are the apple of his eye – and God’s eye. We learn that we are a delight, a pleasure and that we are desirable to be with. He communicates our value as a contributing member of the family, the community and the body of Christ. Being received by him, gives us the confidence we need to live fully out of our true identity. We have courage, based on what our Heavenly Father says about us instead of performing to win the approval of everyone else.
The spiritual father is a man whose very presence manifests power, not over people, but over the fallen angels. He knows the road of spiritual growth. His heart is sufficiently “purified from passions” and therefore spiritually open, while his mind in mourning and prayer dwells in such an “opened heart”. It is a work and struggle in which the entire human being participates. It is here that the mystery of transformation takes place. The grace of Holy Baptism, which springs from the “purified heart”, transforms the mind, the word and the person of the spiritual father. The mind becomes “illumined”, the word has “power”, the presence bears witness to Christ.
The word of the spiritual father reaches the very depths of the spiritual child’s heart and transforms it from inside: it brings light to his faith, strength for his struggle, gives him hope during the spiritual warfare. Through mutual personal relationship it spiritually gives birth and raises the new, in Christ, man. The relationship “spiritual father – spiritual child” is a Holy Mystery of interpenetration and growing in Christ.
Here are some few comparison between a spiritual father and someone who is just a religious leader:
SPIRITUAL FATHER |
20th CENTURY FATHER |
Forgives you no matter what you’ve done |
Holds resentment, judgments, bitterness |
Takes responsibility for sins sown |
Blames others for what he is reaping |
Honors and respects his authorities |
Undermines his own authority with dishonor |
Is flexible and led of the Holy Spirit |
Under fleshly inner vows in his own strength |
Believes the best, believes in you |
Has bitter expectations that you will fail again |
Confesses the sins of his fathers |
Repeats the sins of his fathers and more |
Touch, time, gifts, help, on your side |
Loves you the way he wants to receive love |
Hears God, is in agreement with Mom |
Controls, dominates, competes, pouts |
Appreciates/respects the opposite sex |
Undermines feminine contributions |
Encourages you for your own good |
Flatters you and manipulates for his agenda |
Finds time to be available to you |
Is too busy to spend quality time |
Will bless you when you are led to leave |
Will cut you off if you are led to move on |
Prays for you without ceasing |
Will pray if you ask him |
Willingly imparts spiritual gifts and wisdom |
Doesn’t want to lose (spiritual) advantage |
Sees potential gifts, talents & callings in you |
Only sees you as you are now |
Trusts you to step out (with room to fail) |
Will not release you for fear of your failure |
Isn’t afraid to discipline or correct you |
Will either avoid correction or will over react |
Has a heart to restore the brokenhearted |
Withdraws from high maintenance children |
Will pay a debt they do not owe |
Will hold your debts over your head |
Will fellowship with other fathers |
Will hide from accountability to his peers |
Moves toward the current move of God |
Weds you to his beliefs, past moves |
Is not threatened by your other relationships |
Tries to control who you hear and who you serve |
Teaches you dependence on God also |
Keeps you dependent on him |
Teaches you Truth from God’s Word |
Teaches you his doctrinal bias |
Has the heart of a true worshipper of God |
“Attends” or sends you to a worship service |
Is happy when you succeed more than he |
Is threatened when you succeed more than he |
Has the ‘team’ concept of service |
Has a ‘golfer caddy’ idea of your service |
Makes you feel comfortable / protected |
Threatens to expose you or attack you |
Helps, wanting nothing in return |
Expects something for helping you |
Willing to admit his weaknesses |
Will not admit weakness or mistakes |
Is interested in what you are doing |
Only what he is doing / his vision |
Is relationship oriented and sensitive |
Is task oriented |
Communicates well and listens well |
Feels bothered and put upon by you |
Hears God and leads by the Holy Spirit |
Influences or controls for his own agenda |
